Quotes 1.1 - Hu Ha Wars - The Revenge of Myth

Hu-ha India, Hu-ha India! Seen that advertisments with Sourav Ganguly, no? never mind. Dadaz commercial dialogues rocked the nation (with laughter offcourse). And then started a series of unfortunate comments, a lot of comments started pouring in regarding the sexiest of all, the one and only, please dont dare guess, the HU HA . . . Hu-ha India, Hu-ha India, you will accept your dada's talk na? -Dada (previously Sourav Ganguly/B.Tiger) Hu-ha World-Peace, Hu-ha World-Peace. Will you accept your Uncle's talk na? -George W. Bush (PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES) Yes I will, Hu-ha World-Piece, Hu-ha World-Piece. -Tony Blair on Hu-ha diplomacy Hu-Ha agreement with US will not be renegotiated. -Manmohan Uncle 50% Hu-ha shouts are reserved for reserved category people in all govt. owned hu-ha centres. -Paarth (Arjun) Singh Hu-ha and space and time are entangled. and hu-ha conversion is Hu = ha c^2 -Albert Einstein on theory of the hu-ha Hu-ha par dekhiye hamara yeh vishesh karyakram "dada ki dincharya" aaj raat sadhe-nau baje, sirf aapke apne hi channel aaj tak par. -Aaj Tak, Sabse Tez(TM) See [smiles], we have no hu-ha training camps in Pok, we are very clean you know, we always use eureka forbes cleaners. -Pervez Musharraf Don se Hu-ha kehelwana mushil hi nahi namumkin hai. -Shahrukh Hu-ha kare toh aaj kar aaj kare so ab, kal ko goonga ho jayega, hu-ha karega kab? -Kabirvaani Desh ke tamam 'hu-ha' karne waale is baat ko achi tarah se jaan le ke hu-ha - the most wanted se bach pana ab unke bass ki baat nahi. -Suhaib Illaysi (India's most wanted) One hu and one ha in same office, contact us. Nobody understands your hu-ha better then we do. -BlueStar Professionals (Air-conditioning) Main dava karta hun ke aapka hu-ha 100% surak'shit' hai. -Aamir khan (about pesticides in hu-ha) Kya hu-ha hu-ha laga rakha hai, bhaiya hum hu-ha hu-ha kyon karte hain. -Chashmish Guy [Pushes chashmish's face into water] Dobara mat poochna. -Paan waale bhaiya. Disambiguous is truth, but truth has to be disambiguous. -Some Moron

Quotes 1.0 - Mango Bite Metamorphosis

Mango Bite - Parle Mango Bite Mango Bite - Orangish, crimsonish, creamish, yellow colored candy in a green and yellow food grade plastic wrapper, claimed to be made of mango pulp, added mango flavours, permitted natural color, permitted emulsifiers, class-ii preservatives etc. etc. “Mango ka maza asli yeh goli mango waali, mango bite - Parle mango bite.” -Mango Bite Advertisment. “Mangoes are bi-products of plants, they should not be eaten, processing of mango bites is a serious cruelty to mango tree.” -Maneka Gandhi on cruelity to plant species. “Mango Bite and space and time are entangled.” -Einstein on Mango Bite. “50% of Mango bites are reserved for reserved category people in every goverment owned shop in India” -Arjun singh on Caste based reservations. “Unfortunatly no one can be told what mango bite is, you have to eat it for yourself, its everywhere around you, even in this room.” -Morpheus to Neo. “You have already eaten the mango bite Neo, you have to understand why have you eaten it.” -Oracle to Neo. “We will make some 20-year plans to improve mango bite quality in India.” -Manmohan Uncle “There are no mango bite factories running in pakistan and PoK, its all wrong information, we are clean n clear as always.” -Pervez Musharraf (General/President/Ruler/ . . etc. of pakistan) “Parle-G possess mango bites of mass destruction (MBMDs), situation is getting worse, we shall ressurect it.” -George W. Bush, PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES

Enjoyable Collisions

An Enjoyable Collision

When she quoted this phrase, she rightly said that –
“In this cosmos you sometimes fall into states where the co-ordinates of certain dimensions are in such configuration, that your five senses don’t work and even your formidable, paranormal and clairvoyant sixth sense betrays you, conclusively your whole being is in shambles."
- Austere-gal

One of such states occurs to you when you undergo a "collision".

Collision (k -l zh n)
Def: Interaction of two bodies, which results in temporary or permanent changes in shape, size, position . . . . etc of interacting bodies.

My collision with "her" (her: a pretty girl traversing the market apathetically) took place strictly according to above definition of collision, step by step and it had its aftereffects, infact it can be quoted as a ‘multi-dimensional oblique collision’, but still there were certain anomalies during the process which I consider worthy of discussion. So here goes my story of that fateful day:

Once upon a time I was venturing through the market when this strange thing happened. There was a narrow lane full of people, lots and lots of people and guess what happened . . . . . . .I collided with her, unintentionally off course, I mean it was so crowded and the girl was pretty. Now this collision actually produced some changes in her position (she fell down as a result of impact), shape (during the impact), color (her face went red) and size(i am not sure about changes in size though), but all this showed that the impulsive forces were quite large.

But after this instant the before said anomaly which i was talking about begins! As she stood up and started scolding me, four enthusiastic guys (bodies foreign to the collision) who seemed like new breed of "so called" social-reformers entered the scene from nowhere. On the charge that I was trying to molest a girl in full market (and they missed that chance) those guys started producing aftereffects on me.
"Hero bun raha hai saale."
"Larki ko chherta hai beech bazaar."
"Maaro ssaale ko."

Now, scientifically speaking the bodies undergo changes in shape, size etc only ‘during’ the collision, but in my case even after the collision was well over and other body had left the scene ages ago, I was still getting these deformations from those guys. And when they had socially reformed me enough they went away admonishing against repeating that atrocity to females in future.
"Aaj chhor rahe hain tujhe."
"Sambhal ke rahiyo aage se."

Well the crux is that this encounter defiantly led to some temporary changes in shape and size of my body (and i helped my way to the doctor in the end) but I have no qualms about the whole incident.

Now one question for you all, agar aap denge jawab toh aap jeet sakte hain laakhon ke inaam (just kidding), have you ever heard of terms such as ‘enjoyable collisions’? This collision, (not considering its aftereffects) was quite enjoyable.


(Warning: Above description is purely a work of Fiction :P)